4 Ways to Set Boundaries for Emotional Wellbeing

Setting boundaries with clarity, confidence and respect is important for maintaining a healthy wellbeing. It is a powerful way to reclaim some inner peace and protect your mental health, which is essential for self-preservation and preventing a build-up in resentment and negativity. Take these 4 easy steps for effective boundary setting:

1) What are your needs?

Take a moment to really ask yourself:

• What makes you feel underappreciated and undervalued?

• What assumptions can make you feel resentful?

• Can you recognize symptoms that lead to feeling overwhelmed?

• Why do you feel guilty if you say no?

• How would you like things to change in your life to feel more valued?

Areas of your life where you feel you need to put some boundaries in place may include

• Time - setting a time after which you are not contactable for work.

• Space for you - being clear about alone time or privacy

• Assumptions - made on your time and about the importance of your daily tasks or routine

• Communication - setting out your needs clearly and the respect you expect from others.

2) Communicate your boundaries with clarity

Remember this is a time when the focus should be on you , your feelings and your needs. It’s not about how anyone else feels or what anyone else thinks about the situation. This is your moment to talk about what you feel isn’t working and what needs to be changed. Once you put essential boundaries in place you will feel empowered, respected and more confident in your own self-worth.

Ways in which you can set effective and healthy emotional boundaries

• Know what your limits are. Recognize what situations can make you feel stressed, overwhelmed anxious or emotionally empty.

• Express what your boundaries are calmly, using ‘I’ statements to communicate them more effectively

• Say ‘no’ without guilt or explanation

• Don’t focus on other people’s response to your boundaries but more about the reasons why you feel you need to put them in place.

• Setting boundaries will provide you with time to concentrate on your own self- care and protect your emotional wellbeing.

3) Recognizing the need for stronger boundaries

Sometimes when we get bogged down with the hustle and bustle of daily life we miss cues and signs that we are becoming overwhelmed and need a firmer handle on what we need to put in place to protect our emotional wellbeing. Indications you may need stronger boundaries:

• You find yourself feeling responsible for how other people feel, their happiness, their reactions.

• You no longer feel a sense of enjoyment in social situations but a feeling of anxiety and the need to withdraw

• You don’t feel you can say ‘no’ even when a situation makes you uncomfortable

• Taking time out to spend on yourself makes you feel guilty

• You’d keep the peace even if it means feeling disrespected than address it.

4) Different relationships that may require emotional boundaries

There may be a variety of situations and relationships where you feel you need to protect your self-worth. It could be for different reasons and may evoke different feelings but it doesn’t matter how trivial or little it seems, if it is affecting your emotional wellbeing, it is important. Some relationships that may need boundaries put in place can be:

• Family - Often feel they have more right because they are family. It is even more important you put limits on what is open for discussion and what is off limits in terms of time, opinion and lifestyle. Prioritize respect for yourself.

• Romantic partners - boundaries encourage positive communication leading to healthier relationships.

• Friends - Even with the best intentions, friends can overstep the boundaries. Clear boundaries enable mutual respect of both personal space and feelings for deeper and more meaningful friendships.

• Work - Not being contactable 24 hours a day is important and will protect your personal wellbeing.

Final thoughts

Setting emotional boundaries isn’t about keeping people at arms-length but rather preserving a healthy respect for yourself and your wellbeing. It’s about not giving too much of yourself away and losing yourself at the same time. With emotional boundaries in place you will bring a more authentic version of yourself to all the relationships in your life, preserving your self-worth and self-care at the same time. This will help you feel happier, healthier and more fulfilled.

PS “Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach them where the door is” Mark Groves

https://www.positive-soul.co.uk/contact