Take Ownership…it’s Surprisingly Satisfying

‍Have you ever been on the receiving end of “It’s alright for you”? I’ve had it said to me a few times and it’s something that is guaranteed to get my heckles up.

‍As a coach I am not here to give my clients the answers, I’ve never lived a day in the life of any other person so how could I possibly be qualified and equipped with the knowledge to provide the solution. Listening without judgement is at the core of what I do, empowering them to explore their thoughts and feelings so we can discover their potential together. Therefore when someone says to me “It’s alright for you” I want to say, how could you possibly know?

‍The point here is accountability.

‍Apparently, it’s alright for me because I exercise. It’s alright for me because I eat well. It’s alright for me because I look after myself. You get the gist. But it isn’t alright for me, it’s just something I choose to do because it makes me feel better. The lifestyle I lead requires a lot of discipline, hard work and determination, it certainly isn’t handed to me on a plate. So what is actually meant by “It’s alright for you”?

‍Is it born out of jealousy or is it a backhanded compliment? Possibly a bit of both, either way it is likely that in order for the person to justify why they are unable to go to the gym or stop themselves having one more biscuit, they reason that they would be able to do these things if they were living someone else’s life. And therein lies the problem. Everyone should be accountable for themselves. Instead of looking outwards for an excuse, focusing inwards will provide the answer.

‍In today’s society it’s easier to imagine that the person who is doing some of the things we would like to be doing ourselves, must have a problem free life. They must have endless free time, a pocket full of readies and an exceptional strength of will. We’ve all done it, I believe the saying is ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. If you delve a bit deeper you will most likely find self-control and accountability is at the core of their heartbeat.

P‍ersonally I exercise because I like the way it makes me feel, I like feeling healthy and I like to know that if required I could sprint down the road at a moment’s notice (though god forbid, I hope I won’t be!). Of course it’s a massive plus to be able to walk into a shop and know exactly what size will fit too.

I’ve been a vegetarian for about 40 years, I don’t like coffee or tea so I don’t really have caffeine and as I’ve got older I don’t drink often and not much at all because I don’t like the way it makes me feel, the hangovers are brutal! I go to bed early because I get up early to exercise so I can fit it in before my day starts. This isn’t because it’s alright for me, it’s because I choose to do it. Sanctimonious? not really, just being transparent.

‍I worked in a very young, very sociable company in my early twenties and consequently my weight ballooned and at one point I weighed more than my husband. I was mortified. So I dug deep started exercising, ate better and through discipline and hard work lost 3 stone. Not because I’m holier-than-thou but because I wanted to. One of my kids is on the autistic spectrum, the school years were a tough battle and even now at the age of 23 she still isn’t independent.

‍What I’m trying to say is, it hasn’t necessarily been alright for me. Yes I’m lucky enough to have had a good life but there’s been hurdles along the way, as anyone will contest to when dealing with life, some, way more than others. So if you ever look at someone and think it’s alright for them, take a moment to pause. What you see in the public may be hiding a multitude of sacrifices made, difficulties managed and suffering that goes unnoticed.

‍And instead of thinking it’s alright for them, think fair play. Switch the negative connotations you’re putting on to them and replace them with positivity. Admire them. Use them as inspiration. Look at the areas you would like to change in your own life and consider how you could go about implementing them. There is no gratification in begrudging someone for doing the best they can, it’s a negative energy that will do you no good.  

‍Final Thoughts

Taking accountability for your own path is much more rewarding and means you are answerable only to yourself if things don’t go quite as planned. By resting the responsibility and blame on someone else’s shoulders you are merely delaying the inevitable and wasting precious energy that you could be channeling into positive change. The reality is the only person who can make things happen for you, is you. If you believe you can’t, then you probably won’t. But if you allow yourself to imagine how you could, the possibilities are endless.

‍PS “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson. Dare to dream contact positive-soul.co.uk today.

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