The Art of Being Extraordinary
I read an article the other day about the latest book from the Japanese philosopher Ichiro Kishimi, “The Courage to be Ordinary”
Very thought provoking.
Giving yourself permission to be yourself, not extra special, not different, not standing out from the crowd, just little old ordinary you. Because the art of being ordinary is extraordinary in itself.
It is an amazingly refreshing and freeing mindset. Imagine a world where be it at school, at work, amongst friends or family, there is no pressure or expectation to be special. Just stay in your lane and achieve the greatest accolade of all, being yourself. Simplicity that allows such freedom.
Constantly comparing ourselves to the rest of the world and keeping up with our peers is exhausting and often lacks real satisfaction. We are almost conditioned from a young age that success comes from achieving greatness and being the best in our field. The flipside being that failure to do so invokes a fall from grace that is very soul destroying, literally.
As much as the desire to be special and ahead of the crowd is instinctive, so too is self-deprecation and beating ourselves up for not achieving that status, not excelling and being the person people admire. Kishimi implies that instead of always striving to win the approval of others or gain the accolade of being the best, we should look inwards and think about what equates ‘little wins’ for ourselves. What is important and what success looks like personally, forget the rest of the world.
The express gratification of the approval and awe of others is lacking in heartfelt satisfaction, if we don’t feel that what we have achieved is inanely important to ourselves or the happiness that comes with that. Kishimi argues that ironically “people are trying so hard to be exceptional and unique, when really they are chasing the exact same lifestyle as everyone else” which in itself, through conforming to type, is anything but special.
He maintains that we should encourage our children to use their talents to help others. Changing the narrative, the message and creating a kinder, more selfless society using your talents for the benefits of others. There is immense satisfaction and a huge dose of dopamine to be gained from making someone feel happier about themselves, or even just thought about. Sometimes the emphasis is far too much on achieving success in monetary or materialistic terms but ultimately success can be defined by a much more humbling and fulfilling accomplishment.
True too, is quietly going about your business and reaching your own private goals that mean a great deal personally. When you think about it, concentrating on the path you wish to take and where you would like to be in a year’s time, without the pressure of how it might impact the outside world, is enormously empowering and can bring great confidence without the need for anyone else’s approval.
Success doesn’t have to be all singing, all dancing, shout out loud to be euphoric. Quietly progressing in life and becoming what you hope to be, little by little, step by step, makes the end goal all the more monumental. Knowing this and the pride you feel deep down, will attract the admiration of others naturally, if only in the sense that they will want to know what your secret is.
If you could bottle the feeling you get when you use your strengths and talents to make someone else feel good, or help someone out of a situation, that would be satisfaction indeed. Place less importance on other people’s perceptions and opinions, open that bottle and breathe in the sweet smell of selfless success. Change someone’s day and give yourself the freedom to relax and be ordinary.
Final thoughts
Ordinary, as with many things, is subjective. Self-worth is ridiculously underrated and means so much more than the shallow validation from the rest of the world. Yet still we look to the outside for that nod of endorsement and recognition, when all we need to make our hearts burst with confidence is inside us all along. Get off the ‘look at me’ bandwagon and hitch a ride on the ‘quiet wins’ train and see how enriching life can be. As Kishimi implies, be extraordinarily ordinary.
PS “When you focus on being the best person you can be, you draw the best possible life, love and opportunities to you” Germany Kent. Throw some light on your soul Contact Positive-Soultoday.