Weathering the Peritempest…How to Soften the Menopause Claws

There are an enormous amount of symptoms of the perimenopause/menopause but personally I’ve found that one thing that overrides them all is IRRITABILITY!!! PMT personified in the most intense feelings of ‘Get THE HELL away FROM ME!’. Once seemingly innocent tiny things can take on an incredibly infuriating role clearly designed to annoy the very essence of your soul. The feeling of being incensed to the point of explosion, wound up so tightly that one more trigger will cause an unravelling so shocking it could challenge even the calmest among us. In these moments I feel like I could take on anyone who gets in the ring with me, 2 rounds of the acid tongued rage and barrage of venom that comes forth from my mouth would be enough to flaw even the strongest of opponents.

Of course, generally the people nominated to withstand the fight are largely those closest to you, such as your other half or children. They are quick to read the signs and retreat until the level of danger has subsided, but it is rare they come away completely unscathed. Furtive looks are exchanged, conveying a message that has no need of words just a telepathic ‘Enter at your own peril, the menopause is on the warpath’. Even the pets keep a low profile! But the mere implication that this has all been incited by hormones and not any fault of their doing only fuels the exasperation further.

But how DO you tame the beast and pour water on the fire before you alienate everyone and everything around you? Perimenopause rage is a consequence of the chaotic fluctuation of estrogen and progesterone during the transition to menopause but fear not there are some things you can do.

·       Tuning Out – Escapism is huge. Spirit yourself to a calmer, freer place which can often be achieved by listening to your favourite music. Close your eyes and immerse yourself completely in the melody and the beat and feel the angst subside. The key with any situation that riles you to the point of eruption is to take your mind away to a better place, music is a very good tool for that.

·       Go for a walk – whether at work or at home a very good way to diffuse your mood is to get out in nature. Nature has the ability to calm your senses and give you some grounding. The beauty and pure simplicity of your surroundings really help put things in perspective and helps you to see the bigger picture. Often some time out is all you need to feel calmer.

·       Deep breathing – Breathwork is an extremely good tool to calm yourself down. Regulating your breathing by breathing in slowly for 6 and out for 8, paying attention to your breath and noticing how your pent up mood dissipates gradually. You can do this lying, sitting or standing but closing your eyes will increase the effect and help you feel more peaceful and relaxed.

·       Looking after yourself – One way to help reduce the tension and the frequency of having these feelings is by practicing good sleep hygiene, limiting foods that tend to trigger heightened emotions such as caffeine and alcohol and exercising regularly. Exercise releases endorphins which are a natural mood boost. High intensity is good when you feel you want to vent and helps you redirect your stronger emotions to the exercise instead of those around you. Yoga and more gentle exercise is good for calming your mentality and helping you feel more relaxed and centred. The more sleep you get the more relaxed you’ll feel and the less likely you are to be antagonized. Tune into your circadian rhythm, have good screen discipline before bed and invest in a calming bedtime routine that sets you up for better sleep.

·       Talk – In quieter moments it’s good to communicate to those around you why and how you feel. Better understanding all round can only help when emotions get high and educating people on what the triggers are and what they can do to diffuse the situation is massively beneficial. It is important to point out that how you feel is not only down to hormones but also may be due to things they are doing which are not helpful. Thoughtfulness and consideration mixed with a bit of empathy will make for a more peaceful time for all concerned.

Final Thoughts – One of the hardest elements of the transition is feeling yourself getting agitated but not being able to stop it. We know the cause but we don’t always have the ability to extinguish the feelings of innate irritability that gain momentum. Putting in place methods to calm ourselves down and dilute the angst before it takes hold is good for our mental and physical wellbeing and that of those closest to us. I do think that additionally, we need to spare a thought for the unsuspecting shellshocked partner, who has entered the fray completely unprepared, uneducated and unsure of how to react to or navigate this new phase of relationship life. Through no fault of his own he is very much strapped in and along for the rollercoaster ride. We all need to adopt kindness and empathy and appreciate that this is something neither one of us has experienced before but together with the right practices in place we can navigate this phase more peacefully.

PS “In calmness we find the power to overcome any storm” Mehmet Muratildan Contact Positive-Soul today to discover more.