“Hope Springs Eternal” – Growing Old Gracefully, Disgracefully or Any Way You Like…
I’ve often wondered why it is, that traditionally, its deemed we should make New Years resolutions at New Year. The clues in the name, I know, but I’d question why the month that feels dark and gloomy and a bit lacklustre after Christmas is thought to be the right time to think about what our hopes are for the coming year. Surely Spring is a much more appropriate timing, after all nature certainly sees it that way. Spring brings with it a renewed sense of hope, a feeling of optimism and sunnier days. I can’t, therefore, think of a better time to embrace the next chapter and everything that comes with that.
People say another year, another year older and grimace at the thought. A much more positive outlook is to acknowledge how much we have learnt in the past year, knowledge that we can take with us into the coming year. Its quite an empowering thought to realize that with every year comes greater wisdom not just about life but also of ourselves. With each year that passes we get to know ourselves a little better, we learn more about our bodies, our worth, what excites and inspires us and what we will no longer tolerate if it is detrimental to our wellbeing and happiness. It breeds inner confidence in knowing with more certainty what we want out of life, through weeding out more of what we don’t. That’s the beauty of age, paying less attention to society’s thoughts about age appropriate behaviours and giving a higher regard to our own feelings of what brings us joy and the importance of surrounding ourselves with those who make our lives richer.
With that in mind here are 4 thoughts on growing old in any way that you like.
1. Knowing yourself better
The phrase ‘It takes a lifetime’ is often used when describing how long it takes to truly master a skill or job, implying it takes an enormous amount of time, dedication and patience to achieve success. The same can be applied to understanding and knowing yourself fully, it takes a lifetime. So the older you get, the more you start to really know your body. Time allows us to listen to our bodies and understand its cues with greater ability. Through experience, you know which foods make you feel sluggish and off your game and equally you know what fuels your body for peak performance. You know what activities make you feel energized and alive and what you need to do to stay fit and healthy. But with age you discover what gives you satisfaction and fulfillment, what pursuits really ignite you and if you haven’t yet found what that is, you have a greater understanding of what that might be. Experience also teaches you to protect your wellbeing by keeping away from anything or anyone that feels toxic and surrounding yourself with people who enhance your life and have your best interests at heart. It is a continual learning curve, but it is a rewarding trajectory to be on.
2. Energy
By energy, I’m referring to still feeling the same mentally as you did when you were 25. You don’t hit a certain age and have a personality change. Some of the same things still excite you but often societal acceptances condition you to feel you should no longer be doing some of these things at your age. I’m a firm believer that if it isn’t illegal, doesn’t cause anybody or anything any harm and it makes you happy, then why is age a factor. At the risk of sounding morbid, nobody knows how long they have left or what hand they are going to be dealt so why would you not live your life, actually LIVE your life doing things that give you immense joy. Not long ago somebody asked the question on social media about what age was no longer acceptable to go clubbing. The overwhelming response was 30! Please. If you like dancing, personally I think it is therapy for the soul, then why should you stop? Why should society dictate that you now have to hang up your dancing shoes? Not on my watch, at the age of 53 I’m certainly not ready to do that. Although it is a challenge finding somewhere to dance (all hail the new daytime clubbing trend, although again that is marketed at 30+!) The point being, if something ignites your fire, don’t put out the flame, so to speak, life really is too short.
3. Confidence and Wisdom
The wonder of growing older is the inner confidence and wisdom to know what you want and don’t want in your life across the board and the confidence to own that. Growing older isn’t about losing your youth but more about finding out who you really are. The wisdom of age is comforting, the heady days of youth seem fun and freeing but you were nowhere near as wise as you are now, age gives you a greater depth of knowledge that enables you to navigate life with much more ease. It’s a satisfying feeling to benefit from all the lessons in life you’ve learnt along the way. Growing older isn’t the fun police, rather it allows you to have fun with fewer mistakes and that is something to be celebrated. A lady at a Marks and Spencers checkout (other stores are available!) once said to me ‘Can you imagine if you could have what you know now in your 20 year old body, that would be dangerous’ delivered with a knowing smirk. Dangerous indeed, what fun we could have with that!
4. Transition not Identity
All of this is relevant when you enter peri-menopause and beyond. It is important to remember that it is not about loss of identity but more about reframing the narrative and trusting who you are becoming. Just like in youth, the future is yours to claim. The transition invites you to choose yourself without apology, treating yourself with kindness and relaxing in to the change. It is an empowering time, its easy to look back on your youth and revel in all the good times and the fun but the other thing about age is it subtly remembers only the glory days, the good bits and conveniently blocks out the harder parts. The challenges of pubity, for some the lack of security and possible direction in life to pursue, and the uncomfortable feeling of trying to forge your way without the wisdom to know if its right or indeed will be the best thing for you. Now wiser and with many years of life experience tucked under your belt life is a more straight forward path to follow. Age brings a greater confidence and a lower acceptance of things and people who have a negative impact and drag you down.
Final thoughts
Your life is not yet lived and living is a luxury that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Enjoy it wisely. Focus on the advantages of where you are now in life and the things you have yet to achieve. Don’t let society, or indeed yourself, hold you back but grab faith in all that you have learned from what’s gone before and run with it. Excitement, happiness and gratification are not age defined, let spring give you the inspiration to pursue your dream and the conviction to make it happen.
PS “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional” Walt Disney. To discover more please contact positive-soul.co.uk